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[Serious] Having sex casually while "chasing" someone else?
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TracerX
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[Serious] Having sex casually while "chasing" someone else?
04-14-2022 3:17 AM

I'd like to know the point of view of the life experienced men here. Let's say there's a lady that you really want, you're actually ready to work for getting her and you even feel you can at some point. (and you see interest from her side but it's a bit of a long way)

But you have some girls available for fucking (whether it gives them hope or something is a different matter). They're cute/hot and you can practically have sex when you want.

So my question is, should you still have casual sex with other girls or should you really focus for some time and get the relationship. Assuming the goal is to get the girl for a relationship. By time I mean focus your mental energy on this one person Smile

Looking forward to seeing different POVs here! Smile

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(This post was last modified: 04-14-2022 3:18 AM by TracerX.)
04-14-2022 3:17 AM
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Marcus Antonius
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RE: [Serious] Having sex casually while "chasing" someone else?
04-14-2022 4:26 AM

Surely you should!

3 Reasons:
1. You get less needy and react more relaxed. To have some options, even if the other options are not the preferred one by you, they influences your personal behavior toward the better.

2. You are pre-selected by other woman. That's the reasons why cops work on men. What other people want must be valuable and therfore we want it as well.

3. Woman anyhow have the last word in mating - females do in all mammals. So by restricting yourself you even give her more power over your live. While not yet in a proper relationship she already decides if you have sex or not. Once both of you are committed and together that's fine, but I for myself would not limit before that point. What if she decides she didn't want you? Female choice, that's totally fine and the way the world works (1), but take your opinions.

Just be careful with the communication. It should be rather a suptile subcommunication than outright boasting.

My 2ct..

Footnote: (1) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mate_choice?wprov=sfla1

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(This post was last modified: 04-14-2022 4:33 AM by Marcus Antonius.)
04-14-2022 4:26 AM
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dsouza
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RE: [Serious] Having sex casually while "chasing" someone else?
04-14-2022 6:37 AM

Go for other girls along the way!

It'll make you more outcome independent.

It will make you sure when you pick a girl for a relationship you're choosing her for the RIGHT reasons and not just sex and not just because you don't have options.

A man with options always is in a better position whether he's looking for a ONS or marriage IMHO.

Look at the divorce rate.

Don't be the guy with ONITUS who gives up everything for that one girl who is different than what he perceives her to be because he's not dating others.

Once you commit.. commit.

Unless you're in some sort of open relationship. *Sneaky grin*

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04-14-2022 6:37 AM
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Gladen
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RE: [Serious] Having sex casually while "chasing" someone else?
04-14-2022 12:55 PM

If your true goal is a relationship with a single woman you've picked, I'd advise to pursue that, without being needy or having expectations, and see where it leads.

The pre-selection philosophy holds some water for casual interludes, but the majority of the PUA philosophy behind it is built upon huge misconceptions. The risk of coming off like you just want another notch on your bedpost vastly outweighs the possibility of her thinking, "Well, golly gee willakers, other girls are riding that d-train so I'd better get climb on as well."

You did, however, mention that a relationship seems to be a long way off. All the other reasons to go with Mrs. Right-now instead of Mrs. Right, I'm inclined to agree with.

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04-14-2022 12:55 PM
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dsouza
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RE: [Serious] Having sex casually while "chasing" someone else?
04-14-2022 8:40 PM

(04-14-2022 12:55 PM)Gladen Wrote:  If your true goal is a relationship with a single woman you've picked, I'd advise to pursue that, without being needy or having expectations, and see where it leads.

The pre-selection philosophy holds some water for casual interludes, but the majority of the PUA philosophy behind it is built upon huge misconceptions. The risk of coming off like you just want another notch on your bedpost vastly outweighs the possibility of her thinking, "Well, golly gee willakers, other girls are riding that d-train so I'd better get climb on as well."

You did, however, mention that a relationship seems to be a long way off. All the other reasons to go with Mrs. Right-now instead of Mrs. Right, I'm inclined to agree with.

Do you really believe being sought out by many women will schoo away most hot woman instead of having them perceive you as high value? You are basically discrediting all disinhibitors for getting laid.

See my disinhibitors thread here: https://pherotruth.com/Thread-Battle-of-...o-the-list

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(This post was last modified: 04-14-2022 11:52 PM by dsouza.)
04-14-2022 8:40 PM
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TracerX
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RE: [Serious] Having sex casually while "chasing" someone else?
04-15-2022 2:51 AM

Thanks for the replies men! Gave me some food for thought. Pre-selection is an interesting bit, but you don't necessarily need to sleep with the girls to get that effect. Just the fact that a girl realizes you're attractive to other women it makes her attracted to you.

It's funny in a way, one of our seduction mentors said that a men should "never get hung on one pussy", aka meaning thinking only about "this one girl" and forgetting about the rest.

When I don't have any target for a relationship, I without a doubt have no problem to sleep with multiple women, do a bit of fun here and there. But when one potential serious relationship come to the plate.. my gut kinda tells me to try to get the girl and not to sleep with the other girls while I'm getting her. Would be kinda weird I guess if I just got into a relationship and she found out the day before I slept with another haha

But overall I agree that having options is better.

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(This post was last modified: 04-15-2022 2:53 AM by TracerX.)
04-15-2022 2:51 AM
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Marcus Antonius
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RE: [Serious] Having sex casually while "chasing" someone else?
04-15-2022 3:32 AM

And following your gut feeling (aka intuition) is a good starting point as long as you are happy with it.

If you stay 'abstinent' by your own free choise (I don't believe this argument comes from me as I don't believe in free choise at all, but for the sake of arguing) and feel good about it, and gain energy and momentum for your main goal - that's totally fine.

Just if you're not fully in it, and see that same 'abstinence' as external limitation, than staying away from other girls would be detrimental.

At the end we should seek own happiness while not harming others but give happiness to others as well.

Don't blame gravity for your stumbling - learn to walk!
04-15-2022 3:32 AM
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TracerX
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RE: [Serious] Having sex casually while "chasing" someone else?
04-15-2022 3:53 AM

(04-15-2022 3:32 AM)Marcus Antonius Wrote:  And following your gut feeling (aka intuition) is a good starting point as long as you are happy with it.

If you stay 'abstinent' by your own free choise (I don't believe this argument comes from me as I don't believe in free choise at all, but for the sake of arguing) and feel good about it, and gain energy and momentum for your main goal - that's totally fine.

Just if you're not fully in it, and see that same 'abstinence' as external limitation, than staying away from other girls would be detrimental.

At the end we should seek own happiness while not harming others but give happiness to others as well.

Agree, that's a fair point.

I ment it in a more simple way, like for example:

I have one week, let's say I can go on two dates with the girl I want and perhaps win her over. At the same week instead I could go have sex for two days with another girl who I like but only as a fuck buddy.

I could do both this week but my gut tells me to focus on the serious one.

If it doesn't work out this week I can have the sex with that one later if I feel the need to.

It's a veeeery simplified version.popcorn Big Grin

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04-15-2022 3:53 AM
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Mr Level 1
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RE: [Serious] Having sex casually while "chasing" someone else?
04-15-2022 4:36 AM

It was not clear to me if the women know each other.

When they don't, I personally don't see a problem in multiple intimate encounters.

When they know each other, I would be careful, if you want a serious relationship with one of them.

When a woman is interested in me and showing her interest, I'm flattered. But when she sleeps with some other men, before she wants to hook up with me, I'll pass.

As far as I know, most women aren't interested in a big time player, as serious relationship material.
04-15-2022 4:36 AM
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Gladen
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RE: [Serious] Having sex casually while "chasing" someone else?
04-15-2022 10:18 AM

(04-14-2022 8:40 PM)dsouza Wrote:  Do you really believe being sought out by many women will schoo away most hot woman instead of having them perceive you as high value? You are basically discrediting all disinhibitors for getting laid.

No, I am not discrediting the logical and emotional soundness of a desirable man being desirable. I am discrediting the way most go about it.

Rather than to be themselves and let the truthful impression of being socially valued or hot-sex surface and come to light organically and naturally, most guys make it a point to make it obvious that others want them, they're getting pussy galore, and they're all that plus the obligatory bag of chips.

This does not display abundance nor higher value, it only shows insecurity, an attempt to impress, and being a braggart. It isn't the disinhibitors or the actuality that I was opining against, it was the typical practice.

In this case, let's reverse the situation. You are maybe, maybe not, interested in a girl, but she's into you. she says to you, "No biggie if you aren't, I'm fucking lots of other guys." Now, does that automatically raise your social opinion of her value to you? Probably not. It might make you want to fuck her because we're men and that's how we respond to overt sexuality, but it definitely doesn't suddenly make us want to have and hold her for our own in a relationship paradigm.

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04-15-2022 10:18 AM
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