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Need to Re-Ingite the Flame
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cpwhite
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Need to Re-Ingite the Flame
01-23-2018 2:48 PM

Hello All,

First post Bye, I find myself in a situation possibly not too dissimilar to some; My wife and I are near 50 with high stress professional jobs and two kids about to leave for college and after a successful 22 year marriage I would like to recapture a bit of the magic from those times when we were a bit younger and more adventurous in the bedroom. The challenge is that atm our sex life is pretty minimal (once a month?) and while we certainly do love each other we are not "IN" love with each other the way we were when we were 30. Very comfortable, no need to change etc.

My thoughts on the matter at hand was to try to do a reset (imprint?) on the way in which she currently looks at me to try and change that more towards the way when we first met by starting out with something like an ETFZ; if/then that works possibly later layer on/re-establish a better sense of security, trust and openness (Swoon or GOA maybe) to bring things to a close and increase our intimacy levels and rate.

Question - Does this sound like an optimal plan to generate desired results? Any better thoughts?

Would really like to get some feedback from knowable mone players. Thanks.

cp
01-23-2018 2:48 PM
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TheManInTheFedora
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RE: Need to Re-Ingite the Flame
01-23-2018 6:00 PM

(01-23-2018 2:48 PM)cpwhite Wrote:  Hello All,

First post Bye, I find myself in a situation possibly not too dissimilar to some; My wife and I are near 50

cp

While I can't concur with some of the pheromone suggestions that you've outlined for yourself...there are other considerations besides mones. Is the problem with both or just one of you i.e., with the wife being perimenopausal? Or do you lack sex drive? It would be good to check the hormone levels of both partners. This could help. If it turns out to be the missus than often some sort of hormone balancing can often help, hopefully with natural supplements before considering the heavy duty prescription hormones.

Some users have had success with GOA, Swoon, Certo, etc. but really, it is often up to you to try. There's a plethora of factors why something works or doesn't so it is hard to pinpoint other than trial and error.

With me and my spouse, it has been difficult. My wife has not reacted to many of the mixes/blends (AQ, ACE+core, imprint, Goa, swoon, THU, Wolf, Wolf+DP, DP, Evolve, Xist, Taboo, M3X, Dionysus, Overdose, Pashazade-heart throb, SS4M-Xavier scent (though she liked the scent))so far EXCEPT certo and nude alpha w/wo Androstadienone [depending on cycle time]. Certo (2012-2013 batch; don't know nowadays what they are making) made the missus talk dirty which was out of character for her. Nude Alpha made her compliment me on my looks spontaneously at least 2 times on different occasions which is unusual because it wasn't this much even during the early stages of our relations (we're together for 13 years).

just my humble 2 cents. Good Luck...you're not alone.
01-23-2018 6:00 PM
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cpwhite
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RE: Need to Re-Ingite the Flame
01-23-2018 6:48 PM

Thanks Fedora, no doubt that as we are getting older we are becoming more estrogen dominant; she is seeing a naturopath about possible progesterone usage, my hormones are great actually, just had a test earlier this year. Thank you for the feedback!! Thanks
01-23-2018 6:48 PM
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Scissorburst
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RE: Need to Re-Ingite the Flame
01-24-2018 7:08 AM

(01-23-2018 2:48 PM)cpwhite Wrote:  Hello All,

First post Bye, I find myself in a situation possibly not too dissimilar to some; My wife and I are near 50 with high stress professional jobs and two kids about to leave for college and after a successful 22 year marriage I would like to recapture a bit of the magic from those times when we were a bit younger and more adventurous in the bedroom. The challenge is that atm our sex life is pretty minimal (once a month?) and while we certainly do love each other we are not "IN" love with each other the way we were when we were 30. Very comfortable, no need to change etc.
.....

Hi and welcome,

like Fedora mentioned you are not alone.

Beside the youngsters and singles on the forum you will find us married oldies sharing the same fate. Beside the change menopause will create there is a much more important psychological factor i underestimated in the beginning. Sex in a long term relationship specially with kids does not have such a high priority for most of the women. Talking to plenty of women and man beside my own wife showed exactly this pattern. Man wants sex to feel connected while women is satisfied with kids and the man at her side. Once a month is enough for the women because it is not the way she judges a relationship. While the women seems to develope their love on a deeper level man is stuck in his programming. Sex is becoming more and more an side issue for her. You can and you will get more sex from your wife if you find a way to change this pattern.

Here is my story. You may find some useful infos for your relationship.
I have a similiar setup. I am 50 and my wife 48. 2 kids.
One year ago i started to improve our sex life. Once a month sounds very familiar. Now we have sex 2-3 times per week but this wasnt an easy way. My first approach was to higher her sex drive with well known mones alone. This wasnt very successful and we tried some nutritions supplements to balance the hormones. This was also not successful. There is a reason why until now there isnt any pill to get women in the mood. You can forget this. I often talked about the lack of sex in our marriage with doubtful success. Its like beating a dead horse and will lead to frustration on both sides. The whole sex theme triggered a bad reaction from my wife. She was reacting kind of allergic at the end. Searching the net i found some interesting storys about subliminal usage and reprogramming the subconscious. PM me if you need more infos. Tried mones in addition until i found Swoon as the ultimate stress-buster for my wife. Later on Aquae Vitae. AV puts my wife in an extra caring mode. No other mone did that before and there is still no one i found like AV. I added Bad Wolf for my own personel development.
After trying various subliminals and hypnosis tracks the last years i found this one to be the absolut best one: Personal Ecology hypnosis
https://renegadehypnotist.com/personal-e...for-men-1/
I am listening daily.

Like i said before i managed to get out of the sex long term trap.
We are more active. We have more fun and we are going out in bars or cinema regularly now. I switch on MTV instead of CNN to let the junk out of our life. The key is also to reduce stress as much as possible. Series like Castle (my favourite series) are made for easy evenings creating a sexual and romantic atmosphere. Reminding her how it was in the beginning instead of discussing. Dont get me wrong. Its not to be mr nice guy all the time. You have to develope your own personality to become more alpha in your relationship. This will change your sex life in the long run. Your wife should know and accept that sex is important for you. There is no reason for her to restrain. Showing her love with giving you a bj should be normal. Its like you giving her a nice massage and caring about her needs. Go slow with your wife and realize that this is a long term project. Try various mones until you find the right ones for your wife. Talk about your needs and desires in the right moment and tell her how important sex is for you. And go out and have fun with your wife.
I know its not the quick way i described but i hadnt the luck to throw a mone on and my wife turned into a nymphomaniac.
But now i have my arsenal of mones for various situations. Here is my list of mones which works for me best atm:

Aquae Vitae - makes my wife extra caring about my needs
Swoon - ultimate stress-buster if her job is exhausting her
Bad Wolf - self development to be more masculine
GOA - only for girls week to calm her down
Nude Alpha - romantic and deepening our feelings (makes me very clingy too)
Xist - romatic and deeper feelings for her
Voodoo - good mood for her and i noticed more imprinting (she calls me much more often the day after i wear voodoo but still testing)
Manimal2 - extra cuddly

Good luck and if you need help we are here.

I love it when a plan comes together
(This post was last modified: 01-24-2018 7:10 AM by Scissorburst.)
01-24-2018 7:08 AM
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TheManInTheFedora
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RE: Need to Re-Ingite the Flame
01-24-2018 7:28 AM

(01-23-2018 6:48 PM)cpwhite Wrote:  Thanks Fedora, no doubt that as we are getting older we are becoming more estrogen dominant; she is seeing a naturopath about possible progesterone usage, my hormones are great actually, just had a test earlier this year. Thank you for the feedback!! Thanks


Yes, most of the time...it is the woman in the relationship that loses 'that lov'in feeling.' Besides the progesterone as an opposer to the estrogen, you may wish to have her doctor look into prescribing a testosterone gel for her and or DHEA (can convert to test and estrogen; reservoir against cortisol, stress hormone which is a libido killer)...as ironically it is the libido creator ironically in both genders, albeit in greatly smaller quantities in women than in men. If hormone replacement is called for, try to get a physician who prescribes 'human identical' hormones rather than those that are sourced from horses or similar.

The rest is in the mind. Like Hannibal mentioned, taking care of the self improvement of mind, body and other techniques that both of you can work on in order to rectify the situation.
(This post was last modified: 01-24-2018 8:13 AM by TheManInTheFedora.)
01-24-2018 7:28 AM
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TheManInTheFedora
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RE: Need to Re-Ingite the Flame
01-24-2018 8:43 AM

(01-24-2018 7:08 AM)Hannibal Wrote:  Hi and welcome,

like Fedora mentioned you are not alone.

Beside the youngsters and singles on the forum you will find us married oldies sharing the same fate. Beside the change menopause will create there is a much more important psychological factor i underestimated in the beginning. Sex in a long term relationship specially with kids does not have such a high priority for most of the women. Talking to plenty of women and man beside my own wife showed exactly this pattern. Man wants sex to feel connected while women is satisfied with kids and the man at her side. Once a month is enough for the women because it is not the way she judges a relationship. While the women seems to develope their love on a deeper level man is stuck in his programming.

Yes, how do you like all these 'nice' little constructs or should I say 'Frankenstein's monster' that society has dreamed up for us guys? It also seems in most cases to be one sided in favor of the female....she can take your property, she can take your offspring away from you, she can turn asexual etc...WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SO CALLED EQUALITY?? How could we guys drop the ball somewhere along the line and let this happen?

You are right that it is us guys who are programmed by NATURE and we are actually doing the right thing...to be constantly prospecting to spread our seed among as many females as possible in order to guarantee survival of our genes. Unfortunately, with very few exceptions (societies where polygamy, open marriages are acceptable) our natural instinct has been turned into societal taboo/sin. Hence, this whole monogamous marriage thing is an artificial construct which goes against nature. Sure, it helps keep order in division of property and it helps prevent the female from being left in the lurch with kids when she can't fend for herself. Nowadays, females can secure employment just as effectively as men in most western societies...even sometimes at an advantage with the constant whining about equal rights, equal pay. I've even seen men used by nasty cold feminists just to get knocked up and then, they just cut the poor guy off from even seeing his kid. The ironic thing about human offspring taking SO LONG to mature also complicates the whole picture...else, if human offspring matured faster to fend for itself, just about everybody still fecund and fertile would move on to other prospects.

Another aspect was that in ancient times, just about nobody had the life expectancy that we now have. Thus, women in ancient times hardly lived to experience menopause. Hence, our ancient forefathers were never really burdened with having to 'revive' something which naturally doesn't last...beyond just a simple 'attached' or 'grown accustomed to her [him]...paying the bills...mutual respect for one another.' At the risk of sounding cold, reductionist...science has shown that the feeling we call love was never meant to be forever as we would all drop literally from exhaustion because of all the unusually raised levels or hormones/neurotransmitters that we all experience when we are 'in love.'

https://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archiv...ce/267199/

https://www.wired.co.uk/article/what-is-love

The only advantage that I can think of is that as we all grow saggy, baggy and/or chronically sick where we can no longer prospect...we can sometimes count on that special 'someone' to be there to rub our aching backs or hand us a cup of tea or simply to have a chat. However, nowadays with plastic surgery, knowledge of hormone replacement, physical fitness awareness and of course a little luck...we can stay younger...longer. We guys don't dry up...we keep producing sperm (albeit quality may suffer) well into old age.

Just my humble thoughts.
(This post was last modified: 01-24-2018 10:18 AM by TheManInTheFedora.)
01-24-2018 8:43 AM
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cpwhite
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RE: Need to Re-Ingite the Flame
01-24-2018 12:53 PM

Thanks Gents! A lot of good advice there and I believe we are all on the same page.

Quick question - In regards to Swoon, GOA and ETFZ it seems that there is a bit of overlap of effects there?
01-24-2018 12:53 PM
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RE: Need to Re-Ingite the Flame
01-24-2018 12:57 PM

(01-24-2018 8:43 AM)TheManInTheFedora Wrote:  Yes, how do you like all these 'nice' little constructs or should I say 'Frankenstein's monster' that society has dreamed up for us guys? It also seems in most cases to be one sided in favor of the female....she can take your property, she can take your offspring away from you, she can turn asexual etc...WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SO CALLED EQUALITY?? How could we guys drop the ball somewhere along the line and let this happen?
....

Absolut right. You have to wake up and straighten up.
I realy like equal rights between man and woman. This includes that a woman is equal responsible for her man to make him lucky like the man is responsible to make his wife happy. This includes sex. I never understood the concept of many women to make a difference between love and sex.
They say they love you and want to grow old with you but on the other side they withdraw from sex over time. If a woman has no desire to get f*cked she can give you a nice bj with a smile knowing that you need sex more and do you something good. Like you are massaging her feet or neck or whatever if she ask you. This is real love for my understanding and i didnt understand why so many woman risk their relationship. At the end the formerly loving husband will cheat because the woman he love isnt interested in caring about his sexual needs.
This is the pattern you have to broke before its too late.

I love it when a plan comes together
01-24-2018 12:57 PM
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RE: Need to Re-Ingite the Flame
01-24-2018 1:01 PM

(01-24-2018 12:53 PM)cpwhite Wrote:  Thanks Gents! A lot of good advice there and I believe we are all on the same page.

Quick question - In regards to Swoon, GOA and ETFZ it seems that there is a bit of overlap of effects there?

I dont think so. Swoon is the only mone available with the new molecule astaxanthin. This molecule is so unique in his effects and causes the heavy stress-busting i mentioned before. I would recommend to start with Swoon. It hits everybody like a train.

I love it when a plan comes together
(This post was last modified: 01-24-2018 1:01 PM by Scissorburst.)
01-24-2018 1:01 PM
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cpwhite
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RE: Need to Re-Ingite the Flame
01-24-2018 1:26 PM

Thanks Hannibal, much appreciated!! Lastly, is there an actual Journal forum? I wouldn't mind sharing my experiences but I didn't see a specific forum listed for that.
01-24-2018 1:26 PM
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