(11-28-2016 3:27 PM)LoveInSpain Wrote: It must have been a hard decision but it's the only way if you want to save either your marriage or your dignity.
I understand that you don't want to go into too much detail regarding the "reasons" why she lost her trust in you, but perhaps some more info might help. Many of us on this board have been to hell and back and might be able to offer some specific advice.
Other than that, get yourself some alpha products, some subs (there's some free download links somewhere on this forum), and start to build yourself back up. Once she sees a new, confident you, and you are not there for her day and night, it might rebuild her attraction towards you. Attraction is 100X more powerful than any counselling. You can't reason with a woman so that she becomes attracted to you, but you can ignite it by pushing the right buttons in the right sequence. And without attraction the best which you can hope for is a marriage of convenience.
But if she is emotionally involved with someone else, even this probably wouldn't help, though if this were the case there would be nothing worth fixing anyway.
Take care.
Thanks for the response. You're correct, it was difficult but it was the right decision and that makes it easier to take. As you mentioned, it allows me to save my dignity and an opportunity to save my marriage. It also gives me the opportunity to concentrate on myself, at least in the immediate future, and work on bettering myself. Which I think is the more important reason to do this. My wife noticing the changes and becoming attracted is a byproduct (at least for now).
As for the details I don't want to get into; my wife assumes I've emotionally cheated on her. During our 6-7 yr relationship, I've received texts from female friends that aren't "kosher" (thankfully, I've never received any pics of any sort) and have been on the phone with other female friends. These instances have occurred less than 4-6 times and every time there has been a valid reason for the receipt of such text (not meant for me or client asking to "link up" since they had a free day) or being on the call. However, since it has happened more than once, my credibility has diminished to the point where she doesn't believe me. Additionally, I used to to keep my phone on me at all times (old habit, haven't that I have changed in the past 4 months) and never left it lying around. I understand where she is coming from, but it isn't the best position to be in for me (duh). She has trust issues, obviously, but as a couple we never really fully addressed them. As mentioned in prior posts, our day to day interactions go very smoothly and this lead to "sweeping things under the rug". These trust issues most likely have evolved (evidently) and possibly have created other problems (self esteem, etc.)
To answer the inquiry about the possibility of her involvement with another person, I know 100% that she isn't. I had a talk with my wife the other night, after she had taken an Ambien and she spilled all the beans. (Ambien = better than IH or any other mone!!! lmao)
On to questions on mones. Since I am in the midst of working on myself, for me first and the good of my kids. I know a few alpha mones have been suggested. My question is then, do I want work with an alpha mone that is more congruent to my personality or one that is slightly off (ie more "alpha")?I was thinking of trying Ascend, NO COPS.
I'll look into subs as well, that sounds very interesting.