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Dating for the first time in 26 years
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dsouza
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Post: #11
RE: Dating for the first time in 26 years
07-01-2017 9:44 AM

Grieve for your wife.
Don't jump into love just enjoy dating and sex again.
Good luck.

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07-01-2017 9:44 AM
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LoveInSpain
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RE: Dating for the first time in 26 years
07-02-2017 6:23 AM

(06-28-2017 1:41 PM)qj373 Wrote:  Thanks everyone for the advice. By way of update, I've been working out 6 mornings a week since mid March and am making good progress in weight loss/physique, but really the biggest benefit for me from working out has been that it is helping me to process my grief and keep my sanity. The grief never really goes away, but over time there will be fewer massive waves of it. Working out gives me that time of physical exertion and clarity of mind/emotions. There are a lot of other unhealthier things that I could be doing. I have seen those dealing with great loss self medicate through alcohol/drugs who are now dealing with alcoholism, DUI and more. I've had dates with a couple of girls off of tinder. One who I have "knocked boots" with, but she really doesn't seem to realize that she's not very good in bed. She doesn't really orgasm, she just gets wet. Also, she talks about herself and her ex husband an awful lot and doesn't show a whole lot of emotion when we're talking or even in bed (dead fish). Make out sessions are pretty good aside from the aforementioned lack of emotion. Also, she will kiss with her eyes open sometimes which kind of freaks me out. The other one is a Mormon, sci fi geek. Not much has gone on there as of yet. There have been hugs and I've wrapped my arm around her. I'll see how that goes on down the road. We've been on 2 dates so far.
The workouts will certainly help you. Physical fitness = higher test levels = more ability to deal with emotional pain. Have you tried alternating workout days with HIT / Cardio days? This really helped me to survive when I was at the lowest point. Also, taking up a creative hobby (painting, learning an instrument, etc) can be a huge help. Nights can be terribly lonely and something to focus your attention upon will stop your mind playing tricks on you.

The "dead fish" might be tense because of your circumstances, but some females are just wired that way. I would try some outrageously kinky perverted stuff with her, this might coax her out of her shell. (What have you got to lose)? SXD9 or any alpha product mixed with cops might also help; make sure she has at least 30 minutes of near field exposure before you get down to business.

Whatever happens, don't allow yourself to get too close emotionally to any female. You need to spend time to re-establish yourself as an independent soul. It sounds like you are on the right path.

Sex and Mones and Rock'n'Roll....
07-02-2017 6:23 AM
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qj373
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RE: Dating for the first time in 26 years
07-07-2017 10:12 AM

(07-02-2017 6:23 AM)LoveInSpain Wrote:  The workouts will certainly help you. Physical fitness = higher test levels = more ability to deal with emotional pain. Have you tried alternating workout days with HIT / Cardio days?

I alternate Strength training/Lifting weights and HIIT Cardio. So one day is strength training and the next is HIIT Cardio. Also, keeping track of what I'm eating and not going overboard is huge. It seems to be working for me emotionally(grieving) as well as physically. I've lost 43 pounds since the middle of March and have had to buy new clothes that fit better Smile
07-07-2017 10:12 AM
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