I've read a lot of the PUA stuff over the years and my conclusion is getting yourself into a relaxed state yet confident state is more important than anything you can learn on the PUA sites. I'm still struggling to get myself into a relaxed yet confident state consistently so that is where my focus is these days.

In a relaxed/confident state all you need to do is to introduce yourself to women to get things started and once you do that enough times you will gain experience and get much better with women. Take it from me though, if you are not relaxed and confident then introducing yourself to women won't work and neither will the PUA stuff. It is a huge struggle for me to enter this state unfortunately due to anxiety issues.

With that said, my favorite side involving getting better with woman is https://www.girlschase.com/articles. You get a handful of free articles a month before you have to pay. But if you don't want to pay then go to the site once a month and read up until you run out of free articles.

(10-31-2018 10:07 PM)metaltree Wrote:  I've read a lot of the PUA stuff over the years and my conclusion is getting yourself into a relaxed state yet confident state is more important than anything you can learn on the PUA sites. I'm still struggling to get myself into a relaxed yet confident state consistently so that is where my focus is these days.

In a relaxed/confident state all you need to do is to introduce yourself to women to get things started and once you do that enough times you will gain experience and get much better with women. Take it from me though, if you are not relaxed and confident then introducing yourself to women won't work and neither will the PUA stuff. It is a huge struggle for me to enter this state unfortunately due to anxiety issues.

With that said, my favorite side involving getting better with woman is https://www.girlschase.com/articles. You get a handful of free articles a month before you have to pay. But if you don't want to pay then go to the site once a month and read up until you run out of free articles.

Haha! I just finished reading the texting book from them (free on kindle with prime).

Yeah that's what I want to figure out again. When I watched foundations I was able to enter into state easily but that was years ago. I don't really remember the triggers I used to enter that state so was wondering if there were any readings/videos to help get that calm mindset back. Not just for women, but to get back that state for all aspects of my life.

(10-31-2018 11:26 PM)Kwow Wrote:  Yeah that's what I want to figure out again. When I watched foundations I was able to enter into state easily but that was years ago. I don't really remember the triggers

Ha, easier said than done. Occasionally I will enter the exact state where everything feels natural and I know exactly what to say and do. Then I'll go to sleep and the next day its gone and I'm back to normal. That's why I mentioned relaxed and confident in my previous post. That is exactly how I feel when I become a natural for a day. That is exactly how I don't feel when I'm my normal socially awkward self.

If you figure out how to enter in to that state easily again please post here how you did it. I have a feeling its different for everyone.

(11-01-2018 8:59 AM)metaltree Wrote:  If you figure out how to enter in to that state easily again please post here how you did it. I have a feeling its different for everyone.

I will definitely do that if I remember. The only things I recall was really developing a sense of being pure water covered by a pure steel shell. The steel was impenetrable from any outside thoughts or opinions. The opinion of a person or woman of me, did not matter. Whether good or bad, it could not affect my sense of self because it either stuck or bounced right off the steel that was my frame. I am me, and critique of me that matters is my own. Which is where the water came in.

The water was my sense of self, as long as my frame was strong, the water did not budge. If the steel shell/frame faltered, there would be ripples. If I found ways to improve, the water was fluid enough to adjust, but within the confines of my frame.

To build my frame I remembered thinking mostly, "If this offends someone, they shouldn't be in my life anyway if they can't get on board."
That and realising that rejection(women or friends or otherwise) did not change anything or reflect badly on me at all, is what helped me get into state.

But as you said, easier said than done. If I find the triggers that helps me achieve state easily, I'll make sure to post here

Full post: https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2018/10/...v-station/

Quote:Self-possession. That is the core concept. Some call it outcome independence. Some call it ZFG. Others, the “aloof alpha attitude“. Or, charming jerkboyhood. Old timers call it, “devil-may-care”. Hardliners use the term “uncaring assholery“. PUAs prefer the term “amused mastery“. Over time and space, the idea is the same: the man who wants it least is the man who gets the most.

Beta males have it in them to be great womanizers. They are at ease talking with plain women or or feminists or catladies or black women. They only freeze up and suffer mental cramps when they talk with hotties.

Now, the trick is to be that self-possessed man when it matters (courting hot babes). The smoothness that the beta brings to his face time with dull-looking girls is the same smoothness that will delight hotter girls.

The good news is that, if you know and recognize within yourself a fledgling ZFG-lord who makes an appearance when it *doesn’t* matter, then you know that the possibility exists — as assuredly as your Inner Cadboy exists — that you can be *THAT GUY* when it suits you. You just have to know how to coax your Inner Cadboy from his slumber when the need arrives.

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/the-sixt...s-of-poon/

(11-01-2018 12:14 PM)theLaw Wrote:  They only freeze up and suffer mental cramps when they talk with hotties.

I disagree with this part big time. At least for me when I'm not feeling confident I'm equally awkward around ugly girls as I am around hot girls. I'm equally awkward around men and women.

When I'm feeling confident I can talk to smoking hot women as easily as ugly women.
A woman's attractiveness has nothing to do with this.

(11-01-2018 12:29 PM)metaltree Wrote:  I disagree with this part big time. At least for me when I'm not feeling confident I'm equally awkward around ugly girls as I am around hot girls. I'm equally awkward around men and women.

When I'm feeling confident I can talk to smoking hot women as easily as ugly women.
A woman's attractiveness has nothing to do with this.

This post is specifically about beta males, so it might not apply to you.

What you're describing sounds more like social anxiety, which is divorced from the beta/alpha conversation, as it is not limited to interactions with females.

(11-01-2018 12:50 PM)theLaw Wrote:  This post is specifically about beta males, so it might not apply to you.

What you're describing sounds more like social anxiety, which is divorced from the beta/alpha conversation, as it is not limited to interactions with females.

Yeah, maybe you are right then. I've had social anxiety my whole life.

When my social anxiety is active I feel like a beta male or worse. When my social anxiety turns off I feel like an alpha male.

Meditation helps get you in that zone more consistently. I've researched flow states for a long time. Stimulants put you in that state. Modafinil/Adderall etc. I'm not saying you should take stimulants as cause in the long run it will make this state harder to achieve. The best way to achieve this state and increase confidence and social standing is to upregulate your dopamine receptors. There are studies that show a correlation between the density of dopamine receptors and social dominance.

You can upregulate these receptors through delaying gratification. That means setting long term goals and working on them. Generally habits that are instantly gratifying will desensitize your receptors thus increasing the needed stimulation to reach flow states.

(11-01-2018 1:30 PM)abn1391 Wrote:  Meditation helps get you in that zone more consistently. I've researched flow states for a long time. Stimulants put you in that state. Modafinil/Adderall etc. I'm not saying you should take stimulants as cause in the long run it will make this state harder to achieve. The best way to achieve this state and increase confidence and social standing is to upregulate your dopamine receptors. There are studies that show a correlation between the density of dopamine receptors and social dominance.

You can upregulate these receptors through delaying gratification. That means setting long term goals and working on them. Generally habits that are instantly gratifying will desensitize your receptors thus increasing the needed stimulation to reach flow states.

Repped, completely agree. Would skip the stims as well.