Hi everyone!

I'll make the back story as short a humanly possible. I met a guy on OkCupid, where we were A 99% MATCH (for those who are unfamiliar, OKC is a dating website where you answer 100's of questions and get matched with people based on that, and a 99% match is like a unicorn). He asked me out, so I assume there is at least some physical attraction there.

Then our first date happened (I went without any mones). I've never been nervous on a first date before, but I was a complete nervous wreck! I thought some alcohol would help, but it made is wore. I mean, my behavior was BAD; I was dropping things, I could barely hold a conversation together (when I'm usually very eloquent), and was just plain all over the place. Needless to say, I wasn't myself, and I left the date feeling like I completely blew it. He asked to exchange numbers but a few days later told me that, while he had a great time hanging out with me, he didn't feel a spark and thus wants to continue hanging out as friends only. I replied with the embarrassing truth--that I was super nervous. He said that he totally understands first date jitters and offered to try a second date 3-4 weeks later.

Of course, I intend to make full use of this second opportunity, but I can't decide which pheromone strategy would give me the best chance. I'm an attractive woman (at least, I've never had trouble getting dates), so I don't think cops are super important, but maybe some won't hurt? I just don't know. Should I go with Perfect Match with some cops? PM by itself? Gotcha? Gotcha and PM? Gotcha and PM and TMI??? lol .

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

Out of all that. Snoopy, nutrix and some other will give great advice for those products. My question is why is he waiting so long? Business trip, oil field worker? That's what is weird to me.

(12-07-2018 10:35 AM)Saiyanprince Wrote:  My question is why is he waiting so long? Business trip, oil field worker? That's what is weird to me.

Weird perhaps, but whatever he does seems to be working.

Sweet J, I think you're placing too much emphasis on a 99% match on a dating site. To be fair, you don't even know the guy. He may or may not be what you think he is. It's a huge issue with men too. We get an image of the dream girl in our mind and proceed to project that image on any cutie who might fit the bill.

My advice would be to relax, keep your value in mind and settle for no less than what you deserve. Try to see him clearly for who he is and trust your intuition. It's a simple date, not a matter of life and death. Kudos for being honest about your nervousness.

A little more background: He's a 33yr old professional, I'm a 28yr old professional; we're both looking to find a serious relationship. He is driven, intelligent, and drop-dead gorgeous (one of those lucky SOBs who can get any woman they want). He offered the 3-4 weeks in order to get some time to re-set and try a date again. I personally agree with it because if it was soon after, it might just be a repeat of the same thing. However, I honestly wasn't expecting him to offer another date. Nothing physical happened on the first date. If he really didn't feel any spark, I don't get why he'd be wasting his time on a second date with me when he can get plenty of dates with other women. I am slightly suspicious that he might just be doing it to be polite/nice and to humor me, not because he actually thinks he might feel differently. I don't know. This scenario is unprecedented in every respect.

Perhaps time to consider a herbal supplement. Perhaps GABA or Kava. You have time to try them to titrate your dose - very important; take some and go into a high tense situation. Buy only a top name company. Read reviews on iHerb.com. Avoid Amazon [until you are sure of exactly what you want] Brands and quality make a huge difference.
Good luck!!

(12-07-2018 11:54 AM)Sweet.J.25 Wrote:  ...he might just be doing it to be polite/nice and to humor me, not because he actually thinks he might feel differently. I don't know. This scenario is unprecedented in every respect.

My guess is that he just is looking to have sex and then you won't hear from him again. That is my gut feeling from reading the whole story. I could be wrong.

Edit:
I suspect is lying about not feeling a spark and wanting to be friends only.

My quick suggestion (don't have much time to respond more) is that Gotcha would work in this situation.

(12-07-2018 2:29 PM)metaltree Wrote:  My guess is that he just is looking to have sex and then you won't hear from him again. That is my gut feeling from reading the whole story. I could be wrong.

Edit:
I suspect is lying about not feeling a spark and wanting to be friends only.

I thought that too. But then why not do it on the first date? He didn't even try to kiss me, or make any kind of sexual advance. Are you saying that, now that I insisted, he's thinking "well at least I'll get sex out of this?"

(12-07-2018 3:21 PM)Sweet.J.25 Wrote:  I thought that too. But then why not do it on the first date? He didn't even try to kiss me, or make any kind of sexual advance. Are you saying that, now that I insisted, he's thinking "well at least I'll get sex out of this?"

If you were nervous and shut down you probably weren't giving him signals. Since he is a hot guy maybe he is used to women giving him signals like "Kiss Me" eyes before he goes for it. Very possible that he felt like you rejected him and said that there was no spark to protect his ego.

Some guys will make a move without any signals at all. Other guys will only make a move if they get a green light from the girl.

(12-07-2018 10:10 AM)Sweet.J.25 Wrote:  Hi everyone!

I'll make the back story as short a humanly possible. I met a guy on OkCupid, where we were A 99% MATCH (for those who are unfamiliar, OKC is a dating website where you answer 100's of questions and get matched with people based on that, and a 99% match is like a unicorn). He asked me out, so I assume there is at least some physical attraction there.

Then our first date happened (I went without any mones). I've never been nervous on a first date before, but I was a complete nervous wreck! I thought some alcohol would help, but it made is wore. I mean, my behavior was BAD; I was dropping things, I could barely hold a conversation together (when I'm usually very eloquent), and was just plain all over the place. Needless to say, I wasn't myself, and I left the date feeling like I completely blew it. He asked to exchange numbers but a few days later told me that, while he had a great time hanging out with me, he didn't feel a spark and thus wants to continue hanging out as friends only. I replied with the embarrassing truth--that I was super nervous. He said that he totally understands first date jitters and offered to try a second date 3-4 weeks later.

Of course, I intend to make full use of this second opportunity, but I can't decide which pheromone strategy would give me the best chance. I'm an attractive woman (at least, I've never had trouble getting dates), so I don't think cops are super important, but maybe some won't hurt? I just don't know. Should I go with Perfect Match with some cops? PM by itself? Gotcha? Gotcha and PM? Gotcha and PM and TMI??? lol .

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

I agree with what metaltree said i think he is just thinking atleast he'll have sex and you wont hear from him again, worst case senario that is. And at best i think he is probably thinking if it goes well probably you guys can have sex multiple times and you can probably be a nice and reliable side piece. However i don't think he is looking for a serious relationship with you, does he have a business trip planned or something similar ? why set another date 3-4 weeks after ? Why so long ? Bear in mind even if your next date goes well, you said it yourself "he is one of those guys that can get any women he wants". Therefore u may end up with a relationship with him but not the type you had in mind. My advice for you is try not to come off as too anxious or desperate for this guy or for this date to happen and turn out well. Dont take this date so seriously, if it works out great, if it doesn't thats fine too its not the world. You'll be ok regardless of the outome.



Edit
Also read what MacCauley wrote in post number 3 and then read it another time.
Thats the best advice i think one can recieve in this senario.