SPICE UP THE LTR's
Thanks Given: 382
706 thanks in 332 posts
RE: If you could take a one week vacation with a HB10 37 y.o Russian woman.... |
01-09-2017 4:09 PM
(12-14-2016 7:42 PM)dsouza Wrote: Blonde, 5'6" about 120 lbs, Pro model fitness instructor, 37 but looks 21 .. grew up in Russia. Works as an accountant. Love to cook as a hobby, and doesn't drink or smoke.. Despises guys who do. Had two failed relationships, one from an abusive BF the other from a lazy jobless slob who only played video games.
She's looking for Long Term Relationship, and has made it clear in her words that she's "not for just playing".. haha
If she spends a week on T.O. It will be daily that I will see her. I will need pheromone for daywear and also nightwear. Sex is obviously on the cards as she's staying at a hotel alone, and coming to T.O to see me. I will be taking her out to see the day life and night life in TO.. But like I said she doesn't drink or smoke and avoids places like that.
We have great emotional connections.. We email everyday , and started talking long distance on phone... She likes to bond... She is slightly vunerable at this time and feel alone even though she has the appearance and personality that could get any man she wants.
Now I do KNOW better what mones are out there and such but it doesn't hurt to get forum opinion for this particular situation and woman, her heritage, and her physical makeup.
With a strong psychological sub-text... it is very easy to see both:
A- what you are looking for,
B- what she is looking for.
In psychology there is a term called ATTACHMENT. It is central to many of the stronger held, more experimentally proved theories in psychology. Attachment theory goes very in depth into defining things in relationships.
there are 4 categories of attachment that have different names depending on if they are describing children or adults.
child - Adult
secure - secure
Avoidant - Dismissive
Anxious - Preoccupied
Anxious/Avoidant - Disorganized
If you read about it. And I do mean "IF", then you will see some real clues as to the opportunity for a successful long term relationship.
Unfortunately... the abuse that would prevent a successful long term relationship is usually cemented in place by early childhood. As well as the nurturing that would help build them. The time for setting the stage is over and changing that is long gone without a decade of psych work.
1- Why is she so hot and still single? (messed up baggage, Refer to the song: "She's got issues" by The Offspring)
2- Why is she looking for a long term relationship now? (37 and frustrated that her life plan has failed. )
3- Why is she attracted to Abusive and Lazy men her whole life? (This screams unhealthy relationship in the making.)
4- Sex is in the cards??? (Avoidant (aka Dismissive) Attachment type women prefer casual sex. If she is near 40 and casual sex is on the table, she is most likely Avoidant, this says you are a notch in the belt and a long term committed relationship is just a pipe dream.
5- If she is "Independent" and "Strong" it is very certain she is "Avoidant".
Here is the danger. Avoidant's experienced emotional abuse/neglect as children. The relationship will go along in a normal way until things start to get serious. Depending on how strong her "Avoidant" issues are on the spectrum range, this could be anywhere from talking about being exclusive, to talking about marriage, to moving in together, to actually getting married. The threshold for crossing over into the "Too Close" zone varies. When that threshold is crossed, it will trigger her to distance herself from you. This will continue every time she feels like she is getting too close to you.
This type of trigger will not be visible as friends or as casual dates or open relationship. It is a deeply ingraned psych thing that happened to her as a child.
The majority of single people over 40 years old are "Avoidant". Either "Avoidant" or their Ex's. Do some reading on it and you will gain a huge insight into human relationships.
MY PAIN AND EXPERIENCE COME FROM A 18 YEAR FAILED RELATIONSHIP WITH AN "AVOIDANT" WIFE!
- This is real.
- I am biased, and I may be projecting my failures into your situation. (but this is not an uncommon thing. The "Avoidant" thing.)
- I was on the Anxious side of the spectrum, not extreme, but on that side.
The other side:
- "Avoidants" are more open to casual sex. (Even though they won't be into Long Term Relationships that feel too committed.)
- "Avoidant" don't want to feel taken care of. It makes them feel unable to take care of themselves.
-Don't expect too much. Mone's work well. If they divulge too much it may work against you. If the 'mones get her to open up and share her deepest secrets.... she may regret it the next day, and avoid you because she felt she shared too much.
- Read up on Attachment, and Avoidant Attachment relationship stuff. Then be ready to accept that it is real and realize sometimes it is better to run, even if they have a hot body.
"Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword." -Jesus, Matthew 10:34
AD-Glace, Certo, DHEAS, single mols