(11-25-2016 11:18 PM)Dblr619 Wrote:  Holy cap man, that is it....in a nutshell, that is exactly it.

I couldn't agree with ya's more. It's the truth.

It makes no logical sense. But it's the truth.

Actually it does, scratch that part I said before. It makes sense cos god created Adam first, and THEN eve. And eve was a bi product of one of Adams bone parts. So in theory Men r supposed to lead. Amd women r supposed to follow. Cos of this set up.

So when that balance ain't concurred, she starts thinking, what the hell am I following about him??? So He needs to man the hell up like he's supposed to.

Am I correct to think that? What do u guys rekon?

I have a funny feeling am gonna get raped by the anti sexist community here. Lol.

BRING IT OOOOON!!!!

Whatever he does he MUST stay away from comfort and love mones!
Alpha/cops/socials
The closest I'd get to comfort would be Connections.
It can be steered MUCH to one's benefit if one knows how to frame....

He needs to make her rethink and realize that the last thing she wants in the world is to lose this awesome steaming pile of man.
"Omg, other women want him?!"

Women are the exact opposite from men in countless ways.
For example...
When faced with a rival a man feels some base instinct shit.
Women don't want you unless other women do!!!!!
Think of it fellas....
When you had a gf, or two, (or three hehe) more and more women would practically throw it at you.
When in a dry spell, the longer it goes the harder it can be to break it. ESPECIALLY if your fap'n it...talk about pussy repellent !

(11-25-2016 11:33 PM)Dblr619 Wrote:  Whatever he does he MUST stay away from comfort and love mones!
Alpha/cops/socials
The closest I'd get to comfort would be Connections.
It can be steered MUCH to one's benefit if one knows how to frame....

He needs to make her rethink and realize that the last thing she wants in the world is to lose this awesome steaming pile of man.
"Omg, other women want him?!"

Women are the exact opposite from men in countless ways.
For example...
When faced with a rival a man feels some base instinct shit.
Women don't want you unless other women do!!!!!
Think of it fellas....
When you had a gf, or two, (or three hehe) more and more women would practically throw it at you.
When in a dry spell, the longer it goes the harder it can be to break it. ESPECIALLY if your fap'n it...talk about pussy repellent !

EXACTLY!!! That's why I think, it's a good idea for him to use these mones to get OTHER women's attention. But somehow it has to happen in front of his wife. Where his wife can ACTUALLY see it for herself. Throw a hint of IDGAF and boom, he'll stay together forever.

what's up assholes! haha. I'm not feeling any way about the way you guys responded, because I chalk it up to bro talk. We're in the men's forum speaking like men and it's all good.

I don't regret posting anything. What you guys have to say are your opinions and it's on me to interpret it and ultimately up to me take action.

I said it before, as of late I have been acting a bit beta because honestly I've NEVER been in this position. I'm not up her ass all the time, but it is enough to be considered beta behavior. Had it been a gf or wife w/o kids, I wouldn't GAF. But this is different due to the kids and I don't want this ship to continue sinking.

As for acting as if there are other women or actually being with other women, that would only make things worse because it is what got us here in the first place. She is under the impression that I was cheating on her. So, it would be best if I only ACTED as if there were other females, just to give that vibe off. In other words, there can't be any concrete evidence, but def have to be

As to other suggestions to be alpha and not GAF, those are viable options. Not ghost her completely but def show her I have more value, by not GAF and alpha/cops/socials

(11-26-2016 7:02 AM)DavidWebb Wrote:  what's up assholes! haha. I'm not feeling any way about the way you guys responded, because I chalk it up to bro talk. We're in the men's forum speaking like men and it's all good.

I don't regret posting anything. What you guys have to say are your opinions and it's on me to interpret it and ultimately up to me take action.

I said it before, as of late I have been acting a bit beta because honestly I've NEVER been in this position. I'm not up her ass all the time, but it is enough to be considered beta behavior. Had it been a gf or wife w/o kids, I wouldn't GAF. But this is different due to the kids and I don't want this ship to continue sinking.

As for acting as if there are other women or actually being with other women, that would only make things worse because it is what got us here in the first place. She is under the impression that I was cheating on her. So, it would be best if I only ACTED as if there were other females, just to give that vibe off. In other words, there can't be any concrete evidence, but def have to be

As to other suggestions to be alpha and not GAF, those are viable options. Not ghost her completely but def show her I have more value, by not GAF and alpha/cops/socials

Fair'nuf. I genuinely hope it'll work out. Wish ya all the best mate.

Quote:As for acting as if there are other women or actually being with other women, that would only make things worse because it is what got us here in the first place. She is under the impression that I was cheating on her.

Nothing to see here.......

(11-26-2016 7:29 AM)theLaw Wrote:  

Nothing to see here.......

Lol.

(11-26-2016 7:29 AM)theLaw Wrote:  

Nothing to see here.......

lol. I feel like I'm back in the locker room with the boys. Law comes out of nowhere with his a-hole comment. hahaha.

---

like I've said in prior posts, I'm looking to build the trust/emotional component of the relationship.

I def need to stop acting Beta, because it isn't helping and I didn't do what she believes has been done.

(11-25-2016 7:32 PM)DavidWebb Wrote:  Thanks for the response, I appreciate what you had to say.

That's def not the picture I intended on painting. I know I haven't given all the details, because it would be a bit drawn and I really don't feel comfortable sharing every detail. The truth is that there have been trust issues between my wife and I, she is the one that is feeling more hurt about what is going on and has decided that it has been enough for her to step away. I'm not stating that she has been irrational or emotionally manipulative, because she does have her own valid reasons to feel a certain way. However, I'm also stating that I believe that we both are at fault and that due to both of us we have reached this point. I admit that I've made my mistakes and had a part to play in this (more than she does), but it def wasn't to the point of committing adultery. However, she is the one that made the decision to "end things", so to a great degree I feel that I have more of a responsibility to make things better. ("End things" because we are still living together till around the summer and with every other aspect of our relationship we have a good dynamic)

Moving forward, I am and have been owning up to my mistakes and look to rebuild the relationship. I've actually apologized and have been reading self help books on the topic, as well as others to better myself as a person. I don't believe mones will magically "fix" things, but I was looking to see if there was a way for them to be used as a "tool" to assist in the process. I don't see them as a solution to my issue. I agree with you completely that it will take "real communication and real applicable long term solutions" in order to move this forward. I have a few months to work on this and don't expect things to change over night, so I'm not sitting on my ass and hoping/wishing/praying it will fix itself. I'm actually doing whatever it takes to make this work.

Your suggestion of a trust enhancing blend would actually be a valid option and one that I would consider.[/color]

If that's the case then, I second the trust blends again. This post sounds like you care more about a positive end result which I see as good. Whether you stay together or separate, you want to have some sort of trustful bond with the mother of your children.

I naturally feel defensive about some of the other comments here...as they show that some men are suggesting crude and frankly weak solutions. I hope being a husband and father, you know better than to take some of the advice that encourages you to act without integrity. You have a duty to take care of your own happiness, but never at the direct expense of others. However if something is at your own expense you absolutely should walk away and take care of you. Your children need to see that if mommy and daddy split, they still care about and regard each other as good people.

I'm sure you already know what I'm saying..

Btw, I wholly believe love is never lost between two people. It's only ever obscured by issues. If you want to stay with her, make it your ultimate intention. What I'm saying is, don't be one of those guys who is hoping for his relationship to work but feels worried so is looking at other options, other women, just in case.