ADVENTURES ONLINE

I'm no dating guru and to be honest I'm just getting into the PUA, and what that means is I've only read a few e-books, some NLP, listened to a few audio books, and work on my appearance. So you see I'm no expert and I didn't want to claim to be. What I'm about to share with you is just a breakdown of a recent experience mine, that I thought could have useful tools in it for guys with similar situations as me.

How I got here, Why I started going to dating sites...

I want to start off with a little bit of my background, those of you who read my Intro hear and read my Journal know that I started using pheromones for social and seductive purposes because I felt I was losing control of my life, so not surprisingly pheromone use lead me into the world of Pick-up Artist or "Seduction Community" because I soon learned that I needed a little more than stuff to spray, drop, and dab on to get the party started, it wouldn't be until later that I found out that thing with be inner-game. It was awesome seeing how "negs", "push-pull", "rewards" techniques worked I felt like a Jedi sometimes when out with friends, but then when work hours changed and having to work multiple jobs, while also studying, making sure all your ducks are in a row, this makes trying to hit the nightlife/club scene difficult almost non-existent. Experts told me; "Well JonJon, you need to step up your Day Game."... "That's easy!" I thought. Wrong, it's a little bit trickier than the club scene, but not impossible, the problem is I live in a small town not many attractive young girls in a super market or plaza at 11:00a.m. To make matters worse my job is like working in a desolate missile silo, not a lot of girls.

So I ended up online... The first thing I thought was that there wouldn't be any attractive women on these site because they get hit on so much in "real life". Luckily I was wrong, very much so as it would turn out there are plenty of attractive women online with very specific needs just like the rest of us lol. Thinking back, I have used internet dating engines before, but with a different mindset and I used to strike out all the time. That's when I decided I could take the little I've learned now and apply it to the online dating game.

At the site!

1. Your User Name, Profile Page, and Photos...
For my user name I just chose something simple but clever with my name in it, "JonJon B. Good"... I knew that something that brought attention to my penis would automatically send the wrong message. Depending on what site you're using you will want to leave descriptions blank, I've found that writing about yourself too much gives off the wrong kind of signals to women, in particular these signals: "This guy has way too much time to be on the computer so he has no life." or "He loves talking about himself, he's so self-absorbed." and most of all you can blow the mystery that some women want to uncover when they start to date you. When I noticed this I cut my descriptions down, eventually I just left that part blank. Women don't want to spend all day reading your page they want you to engage them in conversation. I only use 1 to 2 photos at a time, it keeps up the mysterious factor. I just have one picture, it shows off my arms, broad shoulders and smile with a decent haircut.

2. Messaging > Text/Phone Calls > Date

Exactly in that order is my tested method. First off you want to message as many women you find attractive as possible, just like in "real life" they have tons of men talking to them, but a lot of these guys don't make it so far, in my experience 2 out every 5 girls (attractive) get back to me. When I started sending a bunch of messages I became overwhelmed with how many girls I had messaging me in my inbox. I used to only be able to send out a few messages because I would make these long drawn out messages and they would go nowhere. But I tweaked my typing and it touches on these key things: Introduce myself, commenting on her description or fashion sense, I tell her "we should talk", then ask her "what do you like to do for fun?" Example: "Hi, my name is JonJon. I like your description, I used to always say that in Calculus too! We should talk sometime, so what do you like to do for fun?" It's short sweet, they don't need you to tell them they're hot, pretty, or whatever. They know. All the girls I've talked to tell me about some weird guy who gives them a long message that just bores them, this way you get in and get out and you get them talking to you. When they message you and they will, it doesn't matter what they say (unless they are out rightly rejecting you) you automatically tell them, "I'm not really on this site that much, it's easier for me to text/talk, my # is 555-555-5555, what's yours?" I always get the number when I do that, I fell they're thinking, "Wow this guy really is busy, that means that I can get exclusive FWB rights if I want to because he's clearly not up here enough to be trying to lay with every girl on the site." After this, you spend minimal time on the phone and set a date asap, you don't want to create a fake relationship by talking on the phone too much or get her more attached than she needs to be in case she's not really what you're looking for,vice-versa.

3. The Date Night
You pull out all the stops here, if you're a member of this forum I have nothing to tell you about the Date lol. You get in there use your best mone mix, for me I always wear 3-6x Sprays of Glace, 2 dabs of New Pheromone Additive, and 20-40 mcg. of Androstadienone . Gets me what I want every time, drives em wild. Besides mones you use everything you've learned from PUA, NLP, whatever, just use it. But you want to be ethical with those method from PUA or whatever it is you use to get a social edge, because although they have many manipulative devices, it doesn't mean that you have to be evil, for example promising long-term when you're only interested in a one night stand. Also women don't want to be treated like a whores, they're sexual creatures like us and have needs, I'm saying this because there are many sites for casual dating and casual encounters, then women on those sites are no exception, I've learned that treating them with respect goes a long way, right to your room or hers lol. Consider modeling Protector-Alpha mannerisms and behaviors.

Pros And Cons and My Personal Experience

Pros:
This gets you talking to women really fast, this can be very good for a complete beginner who has little to experience talking to women.
If you're experienced it's still very much an easy way to just end up talking and consorting with many women.

Cons:
You can end up talking on the phone to some real "space cadets".
In "real-life" you get to see how a person carries herself, phero-signature, how they deal with unpredictable real-life situations, etc.

For me? Like I said when my time got cut down, I couldn't wait for some random night to go cold-approaching, I wanted to talk to women now. Now when a free night opens up I have a date lined-up, when a free night opens up for me I can go out cold-approaching and I'm way more relaxed around women than before because I'm talking to a bunch of them, I go on dates and take some of them home. I feel this has positively effected my aura around women because they can feel that sex is no big deal to me because I'm not desperate and I come off as laid-back guy. I'm also more prone to approach a woman now, rather than be nervous initially.

If you got this far thanks for reading I appreciate it, I know that I took an authoritative tone at times in this post it's really just my opinion based off of the success rate I had, I'm open to criticism on this method or my point of view.

Very nice detailed post on online-game. Repped and nominated. Great to hear you're doing fine! You really seem to give off that preselected, high-value vibe, that women love.

I've tried online game a couple of times. Each time trying a new approach, but somehow things didn't work out for me. I went through many of the typical mistakes, although i already knew quite a bit about game theory. I couldn't apply it to online game. Just at the point, where you already have some inner-game, you start doing things right naturally and realize how exactly you can deliver game elements via messaging and phone calls. I've went from about 0 responses to my messages to a good response rate.
My latest FB even opened me online, though she told me my online game made me come over as nerdy and i seemed totally different to her on our first date. So there's still work to do. With your tips, i may go for a much better low-time-investment high-value online-game. Thanks a lot!

Very nice post. Repped and nominated.

I am always interested in mixing PUA game and mones, instead of just spray the mones and passively wait for the hits to show up.

I didn't have much luck with online dating given all the time I spent on it a few years ago. But now I think I have less motivation than you, since I live in a quite big city.

Just translated your two lines into German, wrote one girl and 4 Minutes later i had my first number Great one, JonJon!

(01-26-2012 2:50 AM)JonJon Wrote:  After this, you spend minimal time on the phone and set a date asap, you don't want to create a fake relationship by talking on the phone too much or get her more attached than she needs to be in case she's not really what you're looking for,vice-versa.

Can you get into a little more detail on how you do this? What your texts are about and about what you talk on the phone?

Also what are your favorite venues for first dates?

(01-26-2012 10:13 AM)idontknow Wrote:  Can you get into a little more detail on how you do this? What your texts are about and about what you talk on the phone?

Also what are your favorite venues for first dates?

Well once the female and I exchange #'s, I'll text her then give her a call,once were talking I get her to open up and start talking about herself by asking questions. After she's talking I like to make jokes about what she says, getting her to laugh, then I shift the conversation over to what I do, what I like (controlling the frame and DHV at the same time), next thing you know were having a full fledge conversation, after that I explain that I have to go. I let 1 or 2 days go with no contact or I just wait until she calls or texts again. After the 2nd phone conversation I start pushing toward a first date, especially when the girl is texting a lot (IOI)

To be honest my favorite venues for first date all the regular cheap places: TGIF, Chilis, Chinese Buffets, Ihop, Pizza places. To me this is fool proof because if the girl is older, more experience, or seems really sophisticated her guard will be down because one of these places isn't anything too serious. If she's younger, less experienced, she might still view some of these places as "kind of expensive", if you do decide to pick up the tab you will probably only be paying $20-$25, where I'm from thats the usual and that's cheap. Gives you a chance to say, "I got it, it's no big deal."(Learned that line from "How To Be An Alpha Male ebook" By John Alexander) Or I have her meet me at a bar if its a lat night date planned, depending on the girl that is.

Very nice post JonJon. Nominated.

(01-26-2012 1:22 PM)halo0073 Wrote:  Very nice post JonJon. Nominated.

Thanks Halo, glad to have a woman's opinion!

JonJon, your advice for web dating is excellent. More and more people are on some web dating site. Its actually more common than many realize. And you are right, you might even stumble upon the most beautiful girls. Did you know that Erica Campell a playboy model went dating men from match.com? After all, even the most perfect person would stil need love.

I hope you dont mind if i add some extra tips. I dont want to hijack you thread, JonJon. But it would be rediculous to just make another thread aswell.
So here is my own tips :

1. Get yourself a wingman. Preferably from opposite gender. Such a person can give you great advice how your profile should be and could also help you taking photos who would be fitable for your profile.

2. Be ready. Dont be lazy but go in for this fully hearted. After all this will be the first impression of you. You wouldnt give a future date the impression of you to be slappy?

3. Dont be shy. Have a look at others profile at dating sites, and you'll see a huge bunch of profiles with no pictures at all. Why not add a picture of yourself? Are you affraid of being recognised? So what? Dating is not a crime. The biggest rule of all is to "give a shit". Be yourself, be honest and go for it.

4. Make the perfect photo. When you look at other profiles, there isnt much information to make you decide what person this is. After all, you wouldnt hear this person talk to you. (But at some sites, you are able to upload videos). This makes the photo of you even more important and can be the difference between "Yes, i want to see him" and "NEXT!!". Its important to have great pictures but dont let them be so fabolous it would be hard recognise you in real life.
There are some traps you have to avoid when adding photos of you. If you are a man, dont let the photo be of you shirtless, showing off your muscles. The most sexy man is not a show-off but actually the one who doesnt realize he's attractive. Or at least pretend to not know it. If you are a woman, stay away from underwear or lying on the bed pictures. Of course your pictures can be sexy. We men love that, but there have to be class and style over them. Otherwise they will just tell that you are just looking for a one night stand.
If you are not shure about the pictures you already have, then get some help and make photos. Take as many you can. The more photos you have, the easier it is to find the perfect photo. Let the photo tell who you are. (Or who you want your date to see you are).
And please, would it kill you to smile? This is important. Have a look at womes profile and see what type of man she is looking for. A huge number are looking for a man with humour. Guess what? They are actually not looking for a comedian but a guy who can make them smile. And if you smile, they will belive you can make them smile.
Tips : have a good picture in back-up. If you are not able to see her right away (For example : lives in different cities), then giving her an extra picture after a while could be a good spice to avoid things get boring. (Maybe you get a great picture in return).

5. Write a profile. This is the tricky one who you need to prepare. Dont make it to short, but dont make it to long, as lenght could easily make it boring. This is where you have to stop up and think about what you want with this. Long time relationship or just pen pals? The more honest you are, the less is the chance for dissapointment when you finally meet.
Be modest. If you have a great job, huge villa and an expensive car, then dont brag about. Its better to let the date be positive surprised when he/she find out instead of the opposite. One of the biggest killer at web dating is disapointment when finally meeting. This because expectation have been built up higher than reality. So be careful and let your date "find out" by them self how great you are and still have some good surprises of yourself in store when you finally meet.
Tips 1 : Make shure you re-read your profile and avoid misspellings (Is that how you write it?). A slappy written profile with many errors will make other think you dont take this serious or in worst case are unintelligent.
Tips 2 : Take your time and have a look at others profiles. Try find find the best one and worst one at the site. This will also help you make ideas on how yours should be.

6. Find your target and stay away. Alright, you made a profile. What do you do? You start looking for your dream mate and after surfing around and looking at thousands of profiles, you stumble upon the big catch (or several catches). A real twelve out of ten. This is when you need to stay away. At least for a while. Remember just as dream looking people in real life are used to people trying to check them up constantly, this is also so on web dating. If you found your dream, there might be a chance this person already are getting a huge bunch of contacts every day. So dont do everybody elses mistake and make your first ever contact with anyone be your dream. After all, you might only get one chance at contacting this person. So why not make some practice first? Do as JonJon did. Find your own way of getting most responses. First one letter and then find out that a shorter one worked better.
Your first introduction letter / note have to be one who stick out enough to make the person care about answering you.
Tips : Stay away from winks, smiles, gifts and such short ways. If you are interested, be man enough to make a real contact instead of just a wink. The same goes to you women. Yeah, yeah, i know. Women shouldnt take the initiative, but in that case, why are you on a dating site? Isnt that an initiative.

7. Make contact. So you made a profile. If its good, you might start getting letters. If its people you realy like, its ok. But usually you would have to look around and find those you realy would like to have contact with. And in this case an introduction letter to those people are necessary. There are usually a huge difference between a woman and a mans letter. It almost looks like woman are more social intelligent who realy think it trough before they write it. While mens intro letter can usually be divided in four groups :
- The short unruled type. Example "Hey, sexbomb. You want me?" or "Can i call you boobie? Write me."
- Telling you the entire life story in one letter type. Example "My name is Jimmy and i am 34 year old and i have two brothers and i was born in Hereford and blah, blah, blah, blah and people say i am very funny."
- The low esteem type. Example "Sorry that i write you, i am shure you get a lot of letters. But i think if you take your time to read this, you might see i am ok person."
- The liar. Example "I go to the gym every morning. I dont drink, smoke, cheat. And love both kids and animals. I fucking hate cursing and i go to church every Sunday."
What i am trying to say is that a woman could get thousans of letters, and the more letters she gets, the more they all will look the same under those four categories. So here is where you come in : Make something different. Write something she will remember out of those fifty letters she will read that day. It might sound hard to do, but its not. The mistake many men do when writing the introduction letter is thinking of it as a formal letter. If you approach a woman standing at a bar, would you say "Hello, my name is Bobby and i come from Cardiff and was born in Wrexham and now i work as a mailman and i have a brother in London and a sister in Dover."???? (Actually that would be fun to try. Do you think she would laugh at me or just feel pitty of me?)
The trick is to think of the first contact in the same way when you small talk to a person when standing in the elevator or waiting for the bus (but dont forgett to let her now you are interested in her). The advantage in web dating is that you already knows a little about the person from its profile. So you already have some issues to start your intro letter. And by doing so, this person might even think you are an understandable person. Try tease the person a little bit also. In this way the person might think its slightly funny and might also be provoked to give you an answer.
Tips : If you cant find and issue to start your letter with, the weather is alway a good topic in small talk with strangers. So instead of starting a letter with standard "Hi, Julia. My name is Kevin." why not start the letter direct and with something no one else do, for example "Was it you who sent the snow over my head today?"

8. Closing time. You got the contact. Dont wait to long. The longer you wait, the harder it gets. So set up a date. JonJons advice is excellent, couldnt be better.
Just make shure your date dont feel unsecure on you. Could you be a rapist or a drug dealer? Its great to be mysterious, but not revealing anything is not good either.

Sorry, had a double post here.