JonJon, your advice for web dating is excellent. More and more people are on some web dating site. Its actually more common than many realize. And you are right, you might even stumble upon the most beautiful girls. Did you know that Erica Campell a playboy model went dating men from match.com? After all, even the most perfect person would stil need love.
I hope you dont mind if i add some extra tips. I dont want to hijack you thread, JonJon. But it would be rediculous to just make another thread aswell.
So here is my own tips :
1. Get yourself a wingman
. Preferably from opposite gender. Such a person can give you great advice how your profile should be and could also help you taking photos who would be fitable for your profile.
2. Be ready.
Dont be lazy but go in for this fully hearted. After all this will be the first impression of you. You wouldnt give a future date the impression of you to be slappy?
3. Dont be shy.
Have a look at others profile at dating sites, and you'll see a huge bunch of profiles with no pictures at all. Why not add a picture of yourself? Are you affraid of being recognised? So what? Dating is not a crime. The biggest rule of all is to "give a shit". Be yourself, be honest and go for it.
4. Make the perfect photo
. When you look at other profiles, there isnt much information to make you decide what person this is. After all, you wouldnt hear this person talk to you. (But at some sites, you are able to upload videos). This makes the photo of you even more important and can be the difference between "Yes, i want to see him" and "NEXT!!". Its important to have great pictures but dont let them be so fabolous it would be hard recognise you in real life.
There are some traps you have to avoid when adding photos of you. If you are a man, dont let the photo be of you shirtless, showing off your muscles. The most sexy man is not a show-off but actually the one who doesnt realize he's attractive. Or at least pretend to not know it. If you are a woman, stay away from underwear or lying on the bed pictures. Of course your pictures can be sexy. We men love that, but there have to be class and style over them. Otherwise they will just tell that you are just looking for a one night stand.
If you are not shure about the pictures you already have, then get some help and make photos. Take as many you can. The more photos you have, the easier it is to find the perfect photo. Let the photo tell who you are. (Or who you want your date to see you are).
And please, would it kill you to smile? This is important. Have a look at womes profile and see what type of man she is looking for. A huge number are looking for a man with humour. Guess what? They are actually not looking for a comedian but a guy who can make them smile. And if you smile, they will belive you can make them smile.
: have a good picture in back-up. If you are not able to see her right away (For example : lives in different cities), then giving her an extra picture after a while could be a good spice to avoid things get boring. (Maybe you get a great picture in return).
5. Write a profile
. This is the tricky one who you need to prepare. Dont make it to short, but dont make it to long, as lenght could easily make it boring. This is where you have to stop up and think about what you want with this. Long time relationship or just pen pals? The more honest you are, the less is the chance for dissapointment when you finally meet.
Be modest. If you have a great job, huge villa and an expensive car, then dont brag about. Its better to let the date be positive surprised when he/she find out instead of the opposite. One of the biggest killer at web dating is disapointment when finally meeting. This because expectation have been built up higher than reality. So be careful and let your date "find out" by them self how great you are and still have some good surprises of yourself in store when you finally meet.
: Make shure you re-read your profile and avoid misspellings (Is that how you write it?
). A slappy written profile with many errors will make other think you dont take this serious or in worst case are unintelligent.
: Take your time and have a look at others profiles. Try find find the best one and worst one at the site. This will also help you make ideas on how yours should be.
6. Find your target and stay away
. Alright, you made a profile. What do you do? You start looking for your dream mate and after surfing around and looking at thousands of profiles, you stumble upon the big catch (or several catches). A real twelve out of ten. This is when you need to stay away. At least for a while. Remember just as dream looking people in real life are used to people trying to check them up constantly, this is also so on web dating. If you found your dream, there might be a chance this person already are getting a huge bunch of contacts every day. So dont do everybody elses mistake and make your first ever contact with anyone be your dream. After all, you might only get one chance at contacting this person. So why not make some practice first? Do as JonJon did. Find your own way of getting most responses. First one letter and then find out that a shorter one worked better.
Your first introduction letter / note have to be one who stick out enough to make the person care about answering you.
Tips : Stay away from winks, smiles, gifts and such short ways. If you are interested, be man enough to make a real contact instead of just a wink. The same goes to you women. Yeah, yeah, i know. Women shouldnt take the initiative, but in that case, why are you on a dating site? Isnt that an initiative.
7. Make conta
ct. So you made a profile. If its good, you might start getting letters. If its people you realy like, its ok. But usually you would have to look around and find those you realy would like to have contact with. And in this case an introduction letter to those people are necessary. There are usually a huge difference between a woman and a mans letter. It almost looks like woman are more social intelligent who realy think it trough before they write it. While mens intro letter can usually be divided in four groups :
- The short unruled type. Example "Hey, sexbomb. You want me?" or "Can i call you boobie? Write me."
- Telling you the entire life story in one letter type. Example "My name is Jimmy and i am 34 year old and i have two brothers and i was born in Hereford and blah, blah, blah, blah and people say i am very funny."
- The low esteem type. Example "Sorry that i write you, i am shure you get a lot of letters. But i think if you take your time to read this, you might see i am ok person."
- The liar. Example "I go to the gym every morning. I dont drink, smoke, cheat. And love both kids and animals. I fucking hate cursing and i go to church every Sunday."
What i am trying to say is that a woman could get thousans of letters, and the more letters she gets, the more they all will look the same under those four categories. So here is where you come in : Make something different
. Write something she will remember out of those fifty letters she will read that day. It might sound hard to do, but its not. The mistake many men do when writing the introduction letter is thinking of it as a formal letter. If you approach a woman standing at a bar, would you say "Hello, my name is Bobby and i come from Cardiff and was born in Wrexham and now i work as a mailman and i have a brother in London and a sister in Dover."???? (Actually that would be fun to try. Do you think she would laugh at me or just feel pitty of me?)
The trick is to think of the first contact in the same way when you small talk to a person when standing in the elevator or waiting for the bus (but dont forgett to let her now you are interested in her). The advantage in web dating is that you already knows a little about the person from its profile. So you already have some issues to start your intro letter. And by doing so, this person might even think you are an understandable person. Try tease the person a little bit also. In this way the person might think its slightly funny and might also be provoked to give you an answer.
: If you cant find and issue to start your letter with, the weather is alway a good topic in small talk with strangers. So instead of starting a letter with standard "Hi, Julia. My name is Kevin." why not start the letter direct and with something no one else do, for example "Was it you who sent the snow over my head today?"
8. Closing time
. You got the contact. Dont wait to long. The longer you wait, the harder it gets. So set up a date. JonJons advice is excellent, couldnt be better.
Just make shure your date dont feel unsecure on you. Could you be a rapist or a drug dealer? Its great to be mysterious, but not revealing anything is not good either.